More Ark Nonsense From Ken Ham
John Stear

Ken Ham, despite being president of Answers in Genesis' USA operations, is, in my view, the least intelligent of AiG's regular writers.  His pathetic home school "lessons" (see AiG and Home Schooling) confirms this view.

Mr Ham's latest imbecilic offering can be found in The true story of Noah's Ark from which I quote:

"After the last timber had gone into place, then it must have started. It was like someone turned a switch and every animal that had come to the Ark responded. They slowly began moving to the Ark … by the thousands they came. Put yourself there and imagine. …

"Noah, his family, and all the animals were settling in. The noise level must have been deafening as all the animals raised their voices—could this be their way of rejoicing over their deliverance from what was to come?

"All the animals raised their voices"?  OK. Let's go a little further along the fantasy trail with Mr Ham and try and imagine just what these animals might have been "saying". 

It's a fair bet the two Koalas were asking Mr Noah for an assurance that there were enough eucalyptus leaves to sustain them over the length of time they would be on the ark.  They would be explaining to Mr Noah that they only eat fresh eucalyptus leaves, and even then they are restricted to a few subspecies of eucalyptus. The Koalas would be asking Mr Noah if, on the passenger list of the ark, there were at least two very prolific gum trees of the correct variety to provide the half tonne of leaves a healthy pair of Koalas would need to survive.  They might have wondered, as they began their painstaking journey over the 9,000 miles from Ararat to Australia if there would be a steady supply of eucalyptus leaves to sustain them.  But the Koalas, being "bears"* of little brain wouldn't know that all the eucalyptus trees had perished in the flood and would take many years to regrow.

I use the words "painstaking" above to describe the Koalas alleged migration over that vast distance because the Koala is a sedentary beast.  In fact it is so lethargic that it often remains in the same tree for days. The thought of these extremely timid and slow moving beasts migrating anywhere in the time frame set by creationists is patently absurd. 

Here's a question for our master of mirth Mr Ham.  Assuming the Koalas, as a species, survived the perilous migration from Ararat to Australia, why are Koala fossils only found in Australia and not along the way?

But maybe our talking Koalas and their equally vocal compatriots on the ark weren't really "rejoicing over their deliverance" but were asking why an omnipotent being would see fit to destroy the whole world in a flood rather than just zapping away the few people (and other creatures) he/she/it didn't like?

Or, to take Ham's absurdity one step further (if that's possible), perhaps the animals were simply raising their voices to let Mr Noah and his sons know that it was dinner time and if they weren't fed properly soon the carnivorous lions, tigers, dinosaurs, wolves, etc. would start munching on Noah and his family.  And of course the termites must have been casting a hungry eye over the bulwarks of the ark.

By all that's rational and sane in this world Mr Ham really is a Grade A nitwit.

*Koalas are not bears but are most closely related to wombats.